Wednesday August 31

I woke up heavy and early to preheat the oven. I made biscuits and coffee. Today's my last day here in NM . I'm with my sister, but I'm about to hug her and drop her off at school.

I still need to see Mary. And Antonio. I will see Mary this AM and Antonio this evening for Boulevardiers .

Ty just left in a huff. He didn't realize that a few minutes ago was his last chance to say a farewell in person. He's not a morning guy...

I went to The Brew one last time with my sister. And dropping her off was the hardest thing to do.

I visited Mary on canyon road. She gave Sawyer and I Milagros. Both hands, one a Figa, and something else.

My mom and dad and I are in Aspen Meadows . In the thicket of trees that are carved into. One of them, the one closest to me, reads "Natachee" in think raised letters in the bark. On the limb, there's carved "Tai" but the I is cracked, limbs are growing apart.

We listened to Roxy Music, and my mom started to cry . The music reminds her of the early days with my dad, and the love they shared. I asked her if it brings back memories, and she said yes. He is climbing in the forest.

We also listened to the Mud Ponies on the small speaker. And my dad was in a trance . I played the song that brought him back to the summer of '09. And every summer before that. He left the present, He was drumming on his leg, and looking into the past.

It has been less than one month since my grandmother passed away. My mama's mama. When we got back to the house, we arrived to massive piles to sort through. Things of my Totie's. I picked out things for my sister and for myself . My mom and I traded treasures. I got very special things. Nana's fur and Totie's push up bra. If I hadn't wanted

it, my mom would have kept it for sentimental reasons. It's so delicate. She looked so beautiful in it. Of course I wanted it.

My dad is moving out. He has so many things- so much to go through. So much to box up. He sent me a photograph of a clay mermaid I had made when I was in first grade. A memory from a different time.

Last Day in NM

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